"Why Do I Run?" 4/10/2009

Why do I run, from Truth, Love, Now? I ask and ask and ask,
but do I listen for answers or leave premature?
I say "Give me Health, Happiness, Peace", but choose to bury my feelings, fear, and grief by eating, eating, eating unconsciously consuming the fist that feeds, choking myself with worry, self pity and doubt. I know so little about so much, when is enough enough?
Put down the book, take the headphones out, turn off the TV, start living, day by day, choice by choice, breath by breath. It takes a warrior to stop fighting and surrender, sit, still, silent, listen, learn, sacrifice simple empty pleasures for deep lasting fulfillment, purpose and joy.

Enter the Kingdom of Heaven , the doors are wide open, Love comes from within and is endless, trust your heart and see your beauty beyond your body, stand strong to your words, keep actions focused with intent. Building a castle starts brick by brick, enjoy the movements as they will last a lifetime and may never seem complete. The mountain may appear steep like a pyramid seems empty, but trust step by step and reach the top with little effort, let spirit elevate and guide go along for the ride no need to drive this vehicle knows more than you or I, with intuitive wisdom as vast as the ocean, we have all the pieces needed to frame our puzzle like a painting.

Problems like pretzels that twist and bend us blending together our faults and perfections.
The reflection of a rainbow in a oily puddle, a paradox and parody apparently wrapped in plastic and cardboard, a parrot in a cage watching the rain forest on DVD, laughing hysterically mocking grandma rocking nervously in her chair waiting for the children to get home from school. Smother us in kisses, spoil us with sweets, let us sweat as we play and fall asleep with sand in our sheets. I clean the dirt off my feet and comb my hair appearing pretty and neat brush my teeth and smile, starring eye to eye with myself, blinking blessings and prayers without shedding a tear, perking my ears as I blow my nose, its been raining for years and its time to Bloom. Spring is in the Air, Beauty in the Moon, Summer Sun Shines on the horizon illuminating the day. Stretch, dance, sing, that's all I have to say....

Spring is Here, Heading out East!

Wow, one more year has come and gone, I am 23 years young, preparing for a journey out East to North Carolina and Virginia, to join friends Ryan and Mandy from the Within Reach Movie Project. They have been biking from Northern California since last April and are creating a documentary film about Sustainable and Intentional Communities all over the states, their goals are to visit over 100 communities and bike over 12,000 miles! I will ride with them for 1 month, 1,000 miles from Asheville, NC to Washington D.C. and back to Summertown, Tennessee, visiting 3 beautiful and amazing intentional communities, Earth Haven, Twin Oaks and The Farm. I am super excited having never been to the East Coast, participated in a multi-day bike tour, or feature film project.

I recently left the Tree of Life Rejuvenation Centre in Patagonia, Arizona, a Raw Vegan Spiritual Health Retreat and Community after working as Garden Assistant for 3 months. I learned a lot about myself (eating from pleasure and emotion, struggling to meditate, stretch, breathe fully and surrender to the desert). Also about nutrition, gardening and greenhouses while staying active outdoors and in the larger communities of Tucson, involving myself in the Mankind Project, Boys to Men, Acroyoga and lots of awesome hiking and climbing!

Since my last post in April of 08' I finished my 6 month garden internship at the Solar Living Institute in Hopland, California, enjoyed many adventures Earthday @ Iron Horse Winnery in Sonoma County, Memorial Day weekend with Alex in Yosemite, Harmony Festival, Yosemite 4th Of July with Lauren, Skylar, Hassan and Kristen, Reggae on the River with Dave and Marcelo on our way up to Dave's Land, Mt. Shasta and Ashland, Oregon, Santa Cruz with Marcelo, Rebecca, Skylar, Lauren, and ofcourse Solfest!

After the internship I moved in with Jini and family, learning tough lessons by "showing off to get attention, being lazy, loud and messy. " I worked with the Dr. Vapor crew: Ben, Chantal, Cliff, and OSHO, at Power to the Peacefull and Earthdance. Flew back to Lawrence to rode down to Eureka Springs, Arkansas with Troy to help create the Coalessence Festival, then back to Cali, road trip LA, Mammoth Lakes (hot springs), Yosemite, Santa Cruz, back to Mendo with friends, going through my New Warrior Training Adventure with Shankara, bought a VW van and started another roadtrip south to LA with Hassan, meeting up with Troy and Rebecca then Troy and I headed East through, J-Tree, Flagstaff, Sedona, Patagonia, Truth of Consequences, NM, Austin, Tx, back to Lawrence for X-mas. The van had a nervous meltdown, but we managed to rent a car day after christmas and drive to mexico with Walt, Colin and Ben just like old times staying at Homero's and climbing large in El Potrero Chico. For the New Year we drank mas cervesas and rode a mechanical bull with small sticks of explosives erupting under our feet as we danced to a mexican dj underneath the stars. Colin, Walt and I headed back to Larry-town where I thought I would get rest and a break from the rush of travels. However, Troy wakes me up at 3am to go skiing in Colorado on his expense, 3 hrs later on our way to Breckenridge with Randy, Skiied and Rode Breck, then Copper with Mom and Mike, I split and hitched up to Winter Park with Kristen, Ft. Collins, Denver with Lindsay, Ian, Sean, Hope and Mike, got the job offer at the Tree of Life and got a rideshare down to Sedona, the hitched the rest of the way to Patagonia.

Last week Mom picked me up in P-town, we drove up to Sedona for the closing ceremony of Return of the Ancestors with 120 elders from around the globe, them arrived in Lawrence Wednesday night, saw friends Lindsay, Walt and Clayton. Troy and I left to Staff the NWTA in Kansas City and were there untill Sunday evening, saw Dad and Terry and Tim, rested yesterday going to hear Bob Stevens present on conscious language. I have a ride down to Austin, Tx then Nashville and arriving in Asheville N.C. on Sunday to start yet another magical chapter in this book of Life.