Where Is My Mind? Wheere is-myy Mind?

Its been nearly two and a half months since my last post, i've taken some extra time to let my new environment settle within amongst the communal chatter, broken routines and last goodbye's to familiar family.

In short, the new internship at the Solar Living Institute in Hopland, CA is going well, I reccomend everyone that can or is into sustainability come visit!, I've been learning a lot in the garden about growing my own food from seed to harvest, a great experience mostly trial and error, very self motivated but fulfilling work. Pete the Intern and Garden manager is great, very conscious, organized and hardworking, sometime to a fault but all in all good company and jolly! The community of interns is here and there, all of us coming from different backgrounds and interests which makes it difficult at times and fun at others. We recently moved outside into tents so no longer are sleepy on top of one and other, but having tents within reaching distance provides little privacy for fooling around..., anywho, we'll cross that bridge when we get there... The situation is a little slanted as far as the dating game goes with 6 guys and 2 gals, safe to say there's a surplus of testosterone. The institute is nice though, there always loads happening on and off site, with workshops, community events and field trips. The funnest part has been checking out other cool sites in the area, some intentional communities, CSA's, and research gardens, not to mention the Biodynamic Conference rocked my socks off!

Other than that i'm trying to hold my self together physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, feeling a lack of deep connection to the Earth, Tribe, Family and Friends but realizing all is in due time, motivation ebbs and flows sometimes floods i try to direct it without building dams, reaching out without over extending myself is of high reguard, this last few days has been a true test and trip realizing the hard truths of life and death, saying Goodbye to my Grandpa Felix who's dying at the age of 80, he lived a good life and i'm happy to wish him well into the afterlife, trying hard not to let other's emotions get the best of me, while trying not to close the door on my own. Before the brief phone call ended he said "I hope
you have a great life... I'll see you on the otherside", i said " yeah Grandpa, you have a lot to look forward too, take care, i love you, i'll see you there too..." I think death should be as beautiful and celebrated as birth and although these thoughts are unconventional to the western mind, i think Grandpa would say so too. I thought a lot about this the other day, how i will keep his spirit alive when Felix is gone, i think i would like to plant a garden, or tend to the one that he used to keep when i was young. I got a place in mind in Lawrence, Kansas on the corner of KASOLD RD where few cows once roamed, where i spent my early years playing wiffle ball and chasing cousins, stuffing myself silly with grandpa and grandma's amazing food, and embracing familiar faces. All is not lost, memories remain and future ones wait to be created by in my grandfather's name i would like to dedicate some time to make his home my home and his garden my garden and to take care of the earth, be kind to visitors, work hard and share the surplus, because us Karlin's are hearty folk, here for the greater good to look for solutions not problems, to greet our neighbors and lend a hand when needed, I am proud of this name and proud of my history from Lawrence to Hayes to Russia and Germany, my ancestors fought hard to give me this wonderful opportunity at life and i will spend it wisely with all my heart and wit and charming personality, to be free, happy and grateful, that is all..... "I love you Grandpa and may you always come to visit"